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There are times in life where we attack and we defend, in some cases we can be right or wrong in our position. Some times no matter what position you take you will be wrong, that’s just how it goes.

This last weekend I had an epiphany in a conversation about differentiating between the two positions and rather than stepping away went on the “attack”, not against the person, but against the false perception that only had a small portion of what was really going on. It was an interesting experience for me, as more often than not I will attack the wrong thing.

I saw a statement a few years ago saying something along the lines of I am not responsible for your perception of what I’m communicating, I don’t agree. I think we as communicators are responsible for understanding our target audience and presenting to the best of our ability to that audience, do we fail? Yes! Are there times that they fail when we do our best? yes! Does it really matter going into fault which party is responsible? Not really. However, if you have it within your power, and you know it that’s on you.

Taking this and applying it to a sensitive conversation helped me realize how delicate a difference is between attacking and defending, and how important it is to pick your battle carefully. I said something to someone and unknowingly hurt their feelings because of the initial perception they had of what I said. I had no idea I would hurt them by saying anything regarding the subject, beyond that I thought I had discussed with them in the past my thought process behind the decision. The point is the conclusion they came to regarding my decision was not one I had intended and this conclusion was a false perception of reality. I wasn’t able to communicate with the person directly on this, so I’m not sure exactly how this worked out, but through a third party I did give my best shot to attack in a non-offensive way.

Attacking is dangerous and is definitely an offensive measure, duh. Attacking the person is never good, and should never be justified, definitely not what I recommend. Attacking the persons Ideas is equally dangerous as most people hold their ideas close and will perceive that you are attacking them, going back to point one. Emotions are tricky buggers aren’t they. When attacking a perception it seems right to me when someone is going to make a decision or assumption with little or the wrong information, if I can provide More or improved info then I should! Especially when it is someone close to you or something important.

I took a gamble, went through a third party… I will see how this goes. Hopefully better than I should probably start preparing for.

On that note – peace!

-Paul

In talking about limits in life Amok confronted me about the reasoning I was using about “Limits” there are two different types of limits – imposed limits (not real) and hard limits. He then introduced two new facets, it was a good reminder, of Volume and Capacity.

Imposed Limits – can be stretched, broken, surpassed, ignored, etc.
Hard limits – is a true barrier that cannot be stretched, broken or surpassed* (as we know it)
Volume – the variable that exists within the hard limits of capacity, can be increased/decreased
Capacity – The maximum measurement of volume within the hard limit

In this line of thinking one can surpass their self-imposed limits increasing their volume within their capacity. Some may say one can only achieve maximum capacity and it is impossible to expand past hard limits, I think that with careful observation it is possible that via a paradox of the universe there are special occasions when Capacity can be increased.

Deep thoughts today, along with a crap ton of Music… today has been awesome.

I will be writing something about “Systems” soon, I find it fascinating the sheer volume of systems of thought, belief, culture, and other systems that we are in, impose on ourselves, and are thrust into, and last but not that we love. (Systems aren’t always bad, and are incredibly important).

-Paul